i just finished reading [GM]Dave's posts regarding how a person should properly play an MMO. basically, it boils down to a few key points with which anyone would be hard pressed to disagree:
1) Research your job
2) Listen to the advice of others (apply any which actually makes it through your personal filter of stupidity)
3) Don't complain
sounds simple, right?
it is... which is precisely why it's so frustrating that so many players don't do it.
let's take it step by step.
i don't know about you, but researching a game is one of my favorite things to do.
seriously.
i know, i'm a geek.
i really enjoy reading through forum posts, websites, fan pages, whatever i can get my hands on that actually divulges decent information about different aspects of the game. likewise, i really dislike going into any situation completely blind. i would never want to be the guy who gets into a group and doesn't understand exactly what could be expected from me given the class i'm playing and how to deliver appropriate results to live up to those expectations. in other words, i don't want to be the retard in the group. to avoid this unfortunate incident from taking place, i'm willing to put the time required into actually learning about the game mechanics, the differences between the classes, and thus how to play the class i've chosen given the group in which i've placed myself.
unless you're playing a healer class, the expectations can be quite varied from group to group. sometimes, for instance, i've played a tank class which was expected to provide dps. or a CC class that was expected to play off-healer. it happens. it's good to be flexible in your expectations of a group so that when you're playing a dps class and someone calls upon you to play an off-tank you don't pop a gasket and start crying.
yeah, i've seen it happen. it's not pretty.
anyway, back to the subject at hand, let's say for the sake of argument that you've taken the time to learn how to play your class and what the specific situation calls for from everyone. for instance, showing up to fight the giant Turtle in LotRO without your poison resistance gear will get you ostracized. know this before you show up. if you don't know, for the love of mud, ASK! a person who doesn't know but asks will never be looked upon as a complete dolt... a person who shows up without knowing or asking always will.
so, you've done your research, and you've asked the right questions. this is all you can do (i'll assume you're not ignorant enough to complain about the group... that "Leave Group" button is there for a reason).
now, you have no choice but to leave it up to the leadership of the group to do their job and actually provide leadership.
leading a group of any kind is no easy task. due to my casual status as a gamer, i've opted out of leading many more runs than i have opted to take responsibility for the welfare and progress of the group's accomplishments at hand. i've noticed, however, that many people do not feel the way i do about providing proper leadership. i've been in more groups than i can count where the person who's nominated himself to run the show had absolutely no clue what they were doing.
::sigh:: many, many times...
...and then a few more.
as already stated, i don't play any game enough to know everything. many games i've played i didn't know much at all beyond how to hold aggro or nuke the right mob at the right time. but i know how to follow orders.
my question is this: if you take the time to get a group together, why in the world don't you take the time to figure out what, exactly, you need from the members of this group?
okay, the main tank just left the group before the boss, and now you need someone who isn't playing a tanking class to step up and try to hold the boss aggro. the healer bailed halfway through and now we're counting on the CCer with the minor heal and a whole lot of pots. i fully understand that these things happen in a game. what i don't understand is how someone can walk into a situation with everything they need to succeed except the actual knowledge of what needs to be done by those people.
i've mentioned before that my involvement in MMOs has dwindled to nonexistent recently. most of the time, i find i either play alone or experience utter defeat in the face of someone who tries to run the show but hasn't got a clue what they're doing. quite frankly, there are three kinds of gamers: 1) the uber-1337 hardcores without a real life or any social skills beyond the keyboard, 2) the kids who have no concept of group mechanics nor the basics of teamwork, and 3) me.
sure, i've been the weak link in the group before (read = the only one who doesn't put in 40+ hours a week and hasn't run the instance 20 times previously). if given the proper leadership (read = tell me what you need), i'll do my best and everything will go smoothly. i know, it sounds unlikely, but i've seen it happen more than a few times. more than that, however, it'll be some jerk who can't believe i would rather spend time with my wife and children than running a particular raid for some coveted piece of gear or some kid who doesn't have a clue how to run the instance in the first place and expects everyone else in the group to carry him through.
[GM]Dave has fought through this frustration and continues to play (feeding people who piss him off to a large purple dragon probably helps in alleviating this frustration). i, on the other hand, have opted to go back to Oblivion for the time being and hope a new game comes out which might offer a chance to meet better people within the population. the idea of transferring characters to a new server which may or may not be different just doesn't appeal to me.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Thursday, December 17, 2009
The Secret World
Klingons and Vulcans won't do it. Jedi and Sith (probably) won't do it (although i'd be lying if i said i wasn't somewhat interested... it's Star Wars after all). But a Lovecraft-inspired universe of terrifying creatures & magic hidden outside the perception of an unsuspecting public which shuns the level/class structure, instead relying upon skill-based gameplay which focuses on single-player PvE content?
Yeah, that might just bring me back to MMOs.
Now, the bad news. First, you have to join a faction which you cannot change once it's been chosen. Not like the WoW factions which are basically just different starting cities & skins, but factions in which player attitude is (supposed to be) a driving factor. These factions boil down to three personality types: the self-righteous, the power-hungry, and the middle-of-the-road-balance-must-be-restored faction, which according to the population so far on the forums is by far the most popular choice. I always tend to play a personality type similar to my own in real life, so obviously i chose the last option (although it could be fun roleplaying either of the other two, maybe even more so... but who rp's in games anymore?).
Oh, and the second bit of bad news? It's Funcom.
Yeah, that's really bad. I know, i beta tested Age of Conan.
So why is this game grabbing my attention? The skill-based games that have been released so far have been utter disasters for yours truly (yeah, i beta tested Darkfall too). That, on top of the fact that's it a Funcom game, should have me running for the hills. So why do i care?
Well, first of all, they've admitted the Lovecraft angle. I'm a sucker for Lovecraft... his horror is some of the most amazing stuff i've ever read in the genre. If you're unfamiliar, check out the Lovecraft creature database and tell me that isn't prime material for an MMO. Second, the main developer stated there will be a huge chunk of content which will be solo-friendly for those of us who may or may not want to deal with the rest of the community (depending, of course, on how that turns out). Honestly, I can't imagine everyone will be running for this game given that there are other skill-based games out there already which (probably) left a very sour taste in the mouths of gamers and given Funcom's general reputation with MMOs after Age of Conan. This means the core population (read = those who continue to play the game after the first month's subscription runs out) could be a very interesting set of people... assuming the game's worth playing after the first month. There are just too many factors which can make or break an MMO, and i know enough to know that basing an opinion on a game of this magnitude in the first few weeks is somewhat unfair, but nonetheless i, like many others, don't have the patience to wait for a company to figure out what they should have figured out before beta while taking my hard-earned money to basically make me test their game ideas for them. I already have rather jaded views of most games that exist these days; they either copy the one formula which has proven to be the most financially successful, thereby offering yet another similar game to one which has already existed for 5 years, or they come up with something new and different yet don't support it properly (be it in advertising, hardware/technical issues, content maintenance, or in-game personnel). For me to be really interested in a game, it's going to have to offer something significantly different, yet be something that a person can log in a couple times a week and still enjoy, not feel like they have to grind a bunch of tasks just to get to the "fun" part.
Will The Secret World be it? Heh, probably not... but something compels me to want to play MMOs, and this sounds more promising than just about everything else that's been around this past year.
Yeah, that might just bring me back to MMOs.
Now, the bad news. First, you have to join a faction which you cannot change once it's been chosen. Not like the WoW factions which are basically just different starting cities & skins, but factions in which player attitude is (supposed to be) a driving factor. These factions boil down to three personality types: the self-righteous, the power-hungry, and the middle-of-the-road-balance-must-be-restored faction, which according to the population so far on the forums is by far the most popular choice. I always tend to play a personality type similar to my own in real life, so obviously i chose the last option (although it could be fun roleplaying either of the other two, maybe even more so... but who rp's in games anymore?).
Oh, and the second bit of bad news? It's Funcom.
Yeah, that's really bad. I know, i beta tested Age of Conan.
So why is this game grabbing my attention? The skill-based games that have been released so far have been utter disasters for yours truly (yeah, i beta tested Darkfall too). That, on top of the fact that's it a Funcom game, should have me running for the hills. So why do i care?
Well, first of all, they've admitted the Lovecraft angle. I'm a sucker for Lovecraft... his horror is some of the most amazing stuff i've ever read in the genre. If you're unfamiliar, check out the Lovecraft creature database and tell me that isn't prime material for an MMO. Second, the main developer stated there will be a huge chunk of content which will be solo-friendly for those of us who may or may not want to deal with the rest of the community (depending, of course, on how that turns out). Honestly, I can't imagine everyone will be running for this game given that there are other skill-based games out there already which (probably) left a very sour taste in the mouths of gamers and given Funcom's general reputation with MMOs after Age of Conan. This means the core population (read = those who continue to play the game after the first month's subscription runs out) could be a very interesting set of people... assuming the game's worth playing after the first month. There are just too many factors which can make or break an MMO, and i know enough to know that basing an opinion on a game of this magnitude in the first few weeks is somewhat unfair, but nonetheless i, like many others, don't have the patience to wait for a company to figure out what they should have figured out before beta while taking my hard-earned money to basically make me test their game ideas for them. I already have rather jaded views of most games that exist these days; they either copy the one formula which has proven to be the most financially successful, thereby offering yet another similar game to one which has already existed for 5 years, or they come up with something new and different yet don't support it properly (be it in advertising, hardware/technical issues, content maintenance, or in-game personnel). For me to be really interested in a game, it's going to have to offer something significantly different, yet be something that a person can log in a couple times a week and still enjoy, not feel like they have to grind a bunch of tasks just to get to the "fun" part.
Will The Secret World be it? Heh, probably not... but something compels me to want to play MMOs, and this sounds more promising than just about everything else that's been around this past year.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Fin
I've logged thousands of hours playing video games.
At least.
I started tracking my gaming hours in June of 2006 using XFire (only PC games, console games not included) and I'm currently at 3,312 hours of total time spent playing video games. To some, this indicates a tremendous waste of my time (if you're of this belief, may i suggest lightening up a bit?). To others, this is only a month or two of casual gaming (seriously! check out this guy's profile). Like all things, amount of time spent gaming is a relative entity. My point is that i've gamed quite a bit in my life. In the past few years, most of that has been spent playing various MMOs.
I'll never forget the first time i logged into an MMO and began playing with other people... it was magnificent. People whom i'd never met before were somewhere else in the world unknown to me, but at that moment we all had that instant in common, united together under a common ruleset within a common server environment using super powers and earning xp towards our next level. My adrenaline and dopamine levels were at an all-time high, and i was hooked*. Looking back, there is still something incredible and indescribable about the feeling of joining a team of adventurers to tackle a feat greater than our individual abilities could accomplish alone. Quite simply, it was marvelous fun.
That feeling is still one i would like to enjoy again, but things have changed over the years. Sure, i've got more things in my life now which are a higher priority than gaming, but the crucial differences are not mine. The arena of MMOs has changed quite a bit, and it's my opinion that these changes make it more difficult for people like me (read = more to live for than the game) to enjoy gaming.
For one, the games have changed. There used to be a handful of MMOs to play, which meant that if you played an MMO, you only had a few options to choose from, and those games were all very similar in content and execution. GameOgre currently lists 47 pay-to-play and 61 free-to-play MMORPGs that are active as of the date of this publication. These games vary in content, targeted audience, style of environment, style of play, and just about every other possible facet of video games that you can conceive. According to a recent study, there are now over 47 million MMO subscriptions active in the world (10 million of whom are claimed by World of Warcraft, but of course there has been some debate regarding the accuracy of that number). When i began playing online, there were more like 5 possible MMOs and maybe 7 million total players (of course, i'm only guessing the number of players in 2005; if you can link more accurate numbers, i'd appreciate it). So not only has the industry been flooded with innumberable gaming choices, but the number of players has drastically increased. Most of these players are younger... and by "younger," i mean adolescents. Most of these games are targeted at these younger players... and by "games," i mean trite abominations. The mature player who wants to enjoy a challenging environment with other like-minded mature players in a casual manner is on the brink of extinction, if not completely annihilated already.
This is not a "boo-hoo-things-used-to-be-great-before-these-meddling-kids-ruined-it" post. Not in the slightest. Technologically speaking, the world today is a much better place than it was 5 years ago. Besides, things change; it's the nature of the universe, and i'm well aware of that (in fact, i'm quite the fan of evolution). Nonetheless, in the context of MMOs, the games just aren't being developed for players like me anymore. Casual 30-somethings aren't where the money is, i guess. It's understandable. The music industry hasn't targeted my demographic since long before i was born, so it makes sense that the gaming industry would take a similar turn. That's just the way it is.
"Well, Grey, if you're not griping, then what's the point?"
::ahem::
My point is simply that one of my favorite pasttimes is no longer. Something i used to love doing for 15-30 hours a week has become something i no longer enjoy even for an hour or two. It doesn't matter which game i'm playing, or which server i'm logged into, or what time of day i'm playing, or which guild/kinship/clan/supergroup/et al i'm a member of. The crucial elements, in fact the very foundation, of MMOs has evolved into something which just isn't fun anymore... it's become something more akin to a competitive series of chores. Whether you agree with me or not, one thing remains the same:
Greyfang is no longer a gamer.
Most of you won't even notice my absence, much less miss me. That's fine. But i miss the way it used to be, and i guess that makes me an old fogey. I'm rarely a nostalgic person, but MMOs used to be a magical opportunity for people to join together, having never met each other before, and have the time of their lives. I know of no other genre in which that is a possibility, much less a regular occurrence. To those gamers who know what i'm referring to, i say thanks for all the fun. Maybe i'll see you around somewhere. I'll be the one with the LFG tag.
*please understand that i use this term quite informally. i was never a video game addict, nor do i intend to make light of addiction in any of its varied forms.
At least.
I started tracking my gaming hours in June of 2006 using XFire (only PC games, console games not included) and I'm currently at 3,312 hours of total time spent playing video games. To some, this indicates a tremendous waste of my time (if you're of this belief, may i suggest lightening up a bit?). To others, this is only a month or two of casual gaming (seriously! check out this guy's profile). Like all things, amount of time spent gaming is a relative entity. My point is that i've gamed quite a bit in my life. In the past few years, most of that has been spent playing various MMOs.
I'll never forget the first time i logged into an MMO and began playing with other people... it was magnificent. People whom i'd never met before were somewhere else in the world unknown to me, but at that moment we all had that instant in common, united together under a common ruleset within a common server environment using super powers and earning xp towards our next level. My adrenaline and dopamine levels were at an all-time high, and i was hooked*. Looking back, there is still something incredible and indescribable about the feeling of joining a team of adventurers to tackle a feat greater than our individual abilities could accomplish alone. Quite simply, it was marvelous fun.
That feeling is still one i would like to enjoy again, but things have changed over the years. Sure, i've got more things in my life now which are a higher priority than gaming, but the crucial differences are not mine. The arena of MMOs has changed quite a bit, and it's my opinion that these changes make it more difficult for people like me (read = more to live for than the game) to enjoy gaming.
For one, the games have changed. There used to be a handful of MMOs to play, which meant that if you played an MMO, you only had a few options to choose from, and those games were all very similar in content and execution. GameOgre currently lists 47 pay-to-play and 61 free-to-play MMORPGs that are active as of the date of this publication. These games vary in content, targeted audience, style of environment, style of play, and just about every other possible facet of video games that you can conceive. According to a recent study, there are now over 47 million MMO subscriptions active in the world (10 million of whom are claimed by World of Warcraft, but of course there has been some debate regarding the accuracy of that number). When i began playing online, there were more like 5 possible MMOs and maybe 7 million total players (of course, i'm only guessing the number of players in 2005; if you can link more accurate numbers, i'd appreciate it). So not only has the industry been flooded with innumberable gaming choices, but the number of players has drastically increased. Most of these players are younger... and by "younger," i mean adolescents. Most of these games are targeted at these younger players... and by "games," i mean trite abominations. The mature player who wants to enjoy a challenging environment with other like-minded mature players in a casual manner is on the brink of extinction, if not completely annihilated already.
This is not a "boo-hoo-things-used-to-be-great-before-these-meddling-kids-ruined-it" post. Not in the slightest. Technologically speaking, the world today is a much better place than it was 5 years ago. Besides, things change; it's the nature of the universe, and i'm well aware of that (in fact, i'm quite the fan of evolution). Nonetheless, in the context of MMOs, the games just aren't being developed for players like me anymore. Casual 30-somethings aren't where the money is, i guess. It's understandable. The music industry hasn't targeted my demographic since long before i was born, so it makes sense that the gaming industry would take a similar turn. That's just the way it is.
"Well, Grey, if you're not griping, then what's the point?"
::ahem::
My point is simply that one of my favorite pasttimes is no longer. Something i used to love doing for 15-30 hours a week has become something i no longer enjoy even for an hour or two. It doesn't matter which game i'm playing, or which server i'm logged into, or what time of day i'm playing, or which guild/kinship/clan/supergroup/et al i'm a member of. The crucial elements, in fact the very foundation, of MMOs has evolved into something which just isn't fun anymore... it's become something more akin to a competitive series of chores. Whether you agree with me or not, one thing remains the same:
Greyfang is no longer a gamer.
Most of you won't even notice my absence, much less miss me. That's fine. But i miss the way it used to be, and i guess that makes me an old fogey. I'm rarely a nostalgic person, but MMOs used to be a magical opportunity for people to join together, having never met each other before, and have the time of their lives. I know of no other genre in which that is a possibility, much less a regular occurrence. To those gamers who know what i'm referring to, i say thanks for all the fun. Maybe i'll see you around somewhere. I'll be the one with the LFG tag.
*please understand that i use this term quite informally. i was never a video game addict, nor do i intend to make light of addiction in any of its varied forms.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
days like these
interesting times ahead for yours truly.
besides the obvious holiday weirdness, that is.
beside the "joy" of Christmas (read = staying up until 2am assembling all the toys we buy for my 3-year-old son just to be awakened 2 hours later so that we can disassemble them in a flurry of Christmas-cookie-induced destruction), we also have my son's birthday (read = more "joy" similar to Christmas). we also have my graduation ceremony.
that's right. Greyfang will finally be officially receiving his bachelor's diploma next week. while this sounds awesome, the reality of it is that i'm still looking for a new job in my chosen career (after sending out something like 50+ applications, and that's not an exaggeration) as the deadline for having to begin repaying my student loans draws distressingly closer. i know the job market right now is rather less than ideal, but i took that into consideration when choosing my major. you see, i chose one of the most "in demand" occupational tracks, with the hopes that as long as i earned excellent grades, i would have no problem finding a job.
my grades are excellent. a 3.97 GPA with multiple Dean's List and President's List honors. 10 awards out of 10 semesters, in fact. basically, one poor midterm aside, i had a perfect 4-year record at college.
only now am i discovering that it doesn't mean a hill of beans. you see, my major is IT. IT jobs are easy to find if you have IT experience. unfortunately, they're almost impossible to get if you don't. i have faith that you can quickly discern the Catch-22 of this situation. can't get a job without experience, can't get experience without a job. this leaves one very hopeful Greyfang who is slowly becoming disgruntled, even though my academic record shows that i bust my hump every day in order to achieve academic perfection.
just for kicks, i even tried applying at Best Buy as a PC tech. you ever talk to the PC techs at Best Buy? they're clueless. don't believe me? there are more than a few people out there who agree with me. like this guy. and this guy. and this guy. (i'll stop here, but the list goes on and on). don't blame the techs, though... it's the corporate structure that insists to the general consumer public that their employees are qualified to fix these problems while simultaneously offering zero training or education to those same employees. it's not their fault, they're just kids trying to make it through the day without getting yelled at by all those people who paid good money to have their PCs repaired only to be informed they need to purchase unnecessary parts, being overcharged for labor, then getting home to find their PCs still don't work correctly. but i digress...
so, i applied for the job (for kicks, really). the online application process took almost 30 minutes. no kidding. i'm rather shocked that these kids have the patience to get through it, which leads me to believe that the ones they actually hire for those positions are probably friends of some other employee based solely on the fact that they are young and will work for $12 an hour. anyway, i'm abundantly qualified for the position, and they're hiring at a new location opening close to my house. i thought i'd at least get a call back. i was wrong. chances are, they don't want someone not in their early 20s who actually knows anything about PC maintenance and repair. i'm not really disappointed about that specific job, but if i can't get a low-paying gig for which i'm qualified at a location which desperately needs people who actually know what they're doing, it doesn't necessarily bode well for me finding an quality job in the industry.
i'm trying to remain optimistic here, people. i really am.
besides the obvious holiday weirdness, that is.
beside the "joy" of Christmas (read = staying up until 2am assembling all the toys we buy for my 3-year-old son just to be awakened 2 hours later so that we can disassemble them in a flurry of Christmas-cookie-induced destruction), we also have my son's birthday (read = more "joy" similar to Christmas). we also have my graduation ceremony.
that's right. Greyfang will finally be officially receiving his bachelor's diploma next week. while this sounds awesome, the reality of it is that i'm still looking for a new job in my chosen career (after sending out something like 50+ applications, and that's not an exaggeration) as the deadline for having to begin repaying my student loans draws distressingly closer. i know the job market right now is rather less than ideal, but i took that into consideration when choosing my major. you see, i chose one of the most "in demand" occupational tracks, with the hopes that as long as i earned excellent grades, i would have no problem finding a job.
my grades are excellent. a 3.97 GPA with multiple Dean's List and President's List honors. 10 awards out of 10 semesters, in fact. basically, one poor midterm aside, i had a perfect 4-year record at college.
only now am i discovering that it doesn't mean a hill of beans. you see, my major is IT. IT jobs are easy to find if you have IT experience. unfortunately, they're almost impossible to get if you don't. i have faith that you can quickly discern the Catch-22 of this situation. can't get a job without experience, can't get experience without a job. this leaves one very hopeful Greyfang who is slowly becoming disgruntled, even though my academic record shows that i bust my hump every day in order to achieve academic perfection.
just for kicks, i even tried applying at Best Buy as a PC tech. you ever talk to the PC techs at Best Buy? they're clueless. don't believe me? there are more than a few people out there who agree with me. like this guy. and this guy. and this guy. (i'll stop here, but the list goes on and on). don't blame the techs, though... it's the corporate structure that insists to the general consumer public that their employees are qualified to fix these problems while simultaneously offering zero training or education to those same employees. it's not their fault, they're just kids trying to make it through the day without getting yelled at by all those people who paid good money to have their PCs repaired only to be informed they need to purchase unnecessary parts, being overcharged for labor, then getting home to find their PCs still don't work correctly. but i digress...
so, i applied for the job (for kicks, really). the online application process took almost 30 minutes. no kidding. i'm rather shocked that these kids have the patience to get through it, which leads me to believe that the ones they actually hire for those positions are probably friends of some other employee based solely on the fact that they are young and will work for $12 an hour. anyway, i'm abundantly qualified for the position, and they're hiring at a new location opening close to my house. i thought i'd at least get a call back. i was wrong. chances are, they don't want someone not in their early 20s who actually knows anything about PC maintenance and repair. i'm not really disappointed about that specific job, but if i can't get a low-paying gig for which i'm qualified at a location which desperately needs people who actually know what they're doing, it doesn't necessarily bode well for me finding an quality job in the industry.
i'm trying to remain optimistic here, people. i really am.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
just wait a bit
that's my life right now...
...waiting.
most people will tell you that waiting sucks. i like to think i'm a bit more philosophical about it (most of the time), and believe that it's an opportunity to introspectively reflect upon my contribution to the universe and my attainment of my personal goals which will result from the achievement of whatever the heck i'm waiting for at the time.
yeah, waiting sucks.
waiting for something which you have absolutely no control over sucks even more. the worst, however, is waiting for something that someone can control yet has made it abundantly clear that they're not even slightly interested in doing anything about it except wallowing in the torment of making you wait even longer.
that's where it appears i am right now. of course, i'm talking about my unborn daughter.
"wow, Grey, that's awful! how can you talk about your unborn daughter that way?"
allow me to explain. or don't, it doesn't matter to me. it's my blog and you can stop reading at any time; i'm going to say what i have to say (that's a joke, people... nobody reads my blog, i'm just keeping myself entertained over here).
you see, i know me. i know my wife. i know how we operate. we like messing with each other. it comes from living with someone who is just as bullheaded and obstinate as you are for well over a decade. it's inevitable.
this beautiful person who is currently residing inside my wife is a creation of our own genetic makeup. it's equally hers and mine, and therefore retains some of our characteristics while still essentially being a completely new person whom is entirely her own entity.
in other words, she's laughing right now. she's messing with us and enjoying every bit of it.
you see, my wife has these horrible contractions... horrible in the amount of pain they cause her, but the upside is that they indicate the imminent arrival of our little bundle of joy.
except that they aren't. my wife's been having these kinds of contractions for almost a week now. sometimes they get more intense, and come more quickly, leading us both to believe that the time has come to race to the hospital to wait there some more. then we get there, my wife stays in some room for a ridiculously long time, and then someone in scrubs shows up to tell us that it's not time yet, but they "won't be surprised if we come back later tonight in real labor."
that's happened twice. no "real" labor yet. just pain and more waiting.
i can't wait to meet my daughter, she's going to be a real chip off the old block. i'll probably even wait a few months before i start messing with her in the interest of fairness... but at this point i'm not making any guarantees.
...waiting.
most people will tell you that waiting sucks. i like to think i'm a bit more philosophical about it (most of the time), and believe that it's an opportunity to introspectively reflect upon my contribution to the universe and my attainment of my personal goals which will result from the achievement of whatever the heck i'm waiting for at the time.
yeah, waiting sucks.
waiting for something which you have absolutely no control over sucks even more. the worst, however, is waiting for something that someone can control yet has made it abundantly clear that they're not even slightly interested in doing anything about it except wallowing in the torment of making you wait even longer.
that's where it appears i am right now. of course, i'm talking about my unborn daughter.
"wow, Grey, that's awful! how can you talk about your unborn daughter that way?"
allow me to explain. or don't, it doesn't matter to me. it's my blog and you can stop reading at any time; i'm going to say what i have to say (that's a joke, people... nobody reads my blog, i'm just keeping myself entertained over here).
you see, i know me. i know my wife. i know how we operate. we like messing with each other. it comes from living with someone who is just as bullheaded and obstinate as you are for well over a decade. it's inevitable.
this beautiful person who is currently residing inside my wife is a creation of our own genetic makeup. it's equally hers and mine, and therefore retains some of our characteristics while still essentially being a completely new person whom is entirely her own entity.
in other words, she's laughing right now. she's messing with us and enjoying every bit of it.
you see, my wife has these horrible contractions... horrible in the amount of pain they cause her, but the upside is that they indicate the imminent arrival of our little bundle of joy.
except that they aren't. my wife's been having these kinds of contractions for almost a week now. sometimes they get more intense, and come more quickly, leading us both to believe that the time has come to race to the hospital to wait there some more. then we get there, my wife stays in some room for a ridiculously long time, and then someone in scrubs shows up to tell us that it's not time yet, but they "won't be surprised if we come back later tonight in real labor."
that's happened twice. no "real" labor yet. just pain and more waiting.
i can't wait to meet my daughter, she's going to be a real chip off the old block. i'll probably even wait a few months before i start messing with her in the interest of fairness... but at this point i'm not making any guarantees.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
it goes both ways
i've mentioned i'm pretty busy lately (or at least that i'm tired, so you should have correctly concluded that i'm busy and not just lazy).
"you can't be that busy, Grey... you're spending time blogging, which is probably the most worthless way a person could spend their time."
yeah, you're right; the only grander waste of time is actually reading blogs. it's just that my readers mean so much to m...
::fits of choked laughter::
::gets breath back, heavily sighing::
i almost got that out without losing my composure... as if i have any readers (There are no followers yet. Be the first!). no, the truth is my therapist said i needed a creative outlet that doesn't involve blades and nudity. so, here i am.
anyway, i really am a busy guy. i work, i chase my 2-year-old around (who, btw, is upstairs harassing his mother so i prob should keep this short), i'm getting our house ready for another child due to arrive any day now, and i'm currently looking for a new job since having completed my bachelor's degree.
never mind the hours i put into video games.
so, i got a callback today. i can't say it went successfully, necessarily, although he does want me to come in and see him later this week. i'm just not sure i want to go see him. at least, not for the reasons he's thinking, anyway.
you see, there are a million places on the 'net that explain that interviewing for a job is a tough process, one in which you need to be careful of how you present yourself in all aspects. you need to look professional, your resume needs to be just the right format and without any grammatical gaffes, your interview needs to communicate to your potential employer-to-be just the right combination of confidence and humility...
basically, you need to sell yourself without appearing as if you're selling yourself while you're desperately trying to look like you're not desperate. it's a lot of hoop-jumping, to say the least.
but it goes both ways.
take this call i got today for instance. the gentleman on the other end of the phone informs me that he's looking to "immediately" fill this position. there's a red flag.
then he states that he's already spoken with many other possible candidates who weren't interested in the position for whatever reason. there's another red flag, and a pretty big one in my opinion. (which reminds me, why exactly didn't they contact me earlier? my GPA is outstanding and my resume indicates a decade of management experience, albeit not in IT. this is an entry-level position, so why the hell didn't he call me before now?)
finally, he explains to me again that he needs to fill the position as soon as possible. this is probably the worst thing you can tell someone in my position. you see, when i first answered the phone, this guy had all the power. he could have decided he liked me, thought i was worth giving a shot in his prestigious company, and i would have plugged away like a faithful servant to ensure that i got ahead in their company.
instead, he told me a) we need someone now, b) he's already spoken with at least a few others who didn't want the job (in this economy), and c) we really really need someone right away.
so now the applicant (that's me for those of you without outstanding GPAs) has more power than the interviewer. it's like an episode of Twilight Zone. he's let me know in no uncertain terms that he's desperate for a qualified candidate, any candidate, to merely accept the position.
what's wrong with the position? i don't know yet, i haven't met with the guy. but it must be something pretty big to have had such trouble filling it, especially considering it's an entry-level position and we're a bunch of grads w/o experience in the field. we can't really afford to pick and choose at this point. i intend to find out, though. maybe it's something i can live with. probably it'll be something i won't want. but it might very well be the only time in this interviewing process where i can feel like i'm the one in charge, and that experience, dear readers, is worth more than gold to a peon like myself, and i won't pass it up for anything.
"you can't be that busy, Grey... you're spending time blogging, which is probably the most worthless way a person could spend their time."
yeah, you're right; the only grander waste of time is actually reading blogs. it's just that my readers mean so much to m...
::fits of choked laughter::
::gets breath back, heavily sighing::
i almost got that out without losing my composure... as if i have any readers (There are no followers yet. Be the first!). no, the truth is my therapist said i needed a creative outlet that doesn't involve blades and nudity. so, here i am.
anyway, i really am a busy guy. i work, i chase my 2-year-old around (who, btw, is upstairs harassing his mother so i prob should keep this short), i'm getting our house ready for another child due to arrive any day now, and i'm currently looking for a new job since having completed my bachelor's degree.
never mind the hours i put into video games.
so, i got a callback today. i can't say it went successfully, necessarily, although he does want me to come in and see him later this week. i'm just not sure i want to go see him. at least, not for the reasons he's thinking, anyway.
you see, there are a million places on the 'net that explain that interviewing for a job is a tough process, one in which you need to be careful of how you present yourself in all aspects. you need to look professional, your resume needs to be just the right format and without any grammatical gaffes, your interview needs to communicate to your potential employer-to-be just the right combination of confidence and humility...
basically, you need to sell yourself without appearing as if you're selling yourself while you're desperately trying to look like you're not desperate. it's a lot of hoop-jumping, to say the least.
but it goes both ways.
take this call i got today for instance. the gentleman on the other end of the phone informs me that he's looking to "immediately" fill this position. there's a red flag.
then he states that he's already spoken with many other possible candidates who weren't interested in the position for whatever reason. there's another red flag, and a pretty big one in my opinion. (which reminds me, why exactly didn't they contact me earlier? my GPA is outstanding and my resume indicates a decade of management experience, albeit not in IT. this is an entry-level position, so why the hell didn't he call me before now?)
finally, he explains to me again that he needs to fill the position as soon as possible. this is probably the worst thing you can tell someone in my position. you see, when i first answered the phone, this guy had all the power. he could have decided he liked me, thought i was worth giving a shot in his prestigious company, and i would have plugged away like a faithful servant to ensure that i got ahead in their company.
instead, he told me a) we need someone now, b) he's already spoken with at least a few others who didn't want the job (in this economy), and c) we really really need someone right away.
so now the applicant (that's me for those of you without outstanding GPAs) has more power than the interviewer. it's like an episode of Twilight Zone. he's let me know in no uncertain terms that he's desperate for a qualified candidate, any candidate, to merely accept the position.
what's wrong with the position? i don't know yet, i haven't met with the guy. but it must be something pretty big to have had such trouble filling it, especially considering it's an entry-level position and we're a bunch of grads w/o experience in the field. we can't really afford to pick and choose at this point. i intend to find out, though. maybe it's something i can live with. probably it'll be something i won't want. but it might very well be the only time in this interviewing process where i can feel like i'm the one in charge, and that experience, dear readers, is worth more than gold to a peon like myself, and i won't pass it up for anything.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
::sigh::
well, i'm tired.
who isn't, right? but i'm really rather worn down. i thought once i finished my bachelor's degree, things would ease up a bit. as it turns out, i was wrong. again. meh, i'm getting used to it.
you see, i have a 2-year-old son. actually, it'd be more accurate to say that i have a lightning-ball-of-hyperactivity-who-looks-somewhat-like-me. he's amazing, i'm not even trying to complain, but keeping up with him is no easy task.
i know, i know... many of you are already saying, "but Grey, all 2-year-old boys are busy... suck it up."
yeah, you haven't met mine. my favorite thing to do these days is take him to somewhere where a few (not too many!) other parents are letting their kids play, like a playground, a park, or a prison yard, and unleash my boy on 'em. parents usually smile at me the first minute or two we're there, followed by a comment like, "oh! you're boy is a busy one too! ha ha!" then, after about 5 minutes, i start to get the looks. you know, the looks that basically say, "okay, what is your son on, exactly? is he dangerous?"
oh, you don't know that look? really? i get that all the time.
but the real fun starts around 10 minutes after my son has invaded the public play area. don't get me wrong, he's not a bully or a jerk to the other kids (although a little time at daycare has made him a bit less of a target for those kids who act that way), he just doesn't stop. ever.
EVER.
after about 10 minutes or so, parents start giving me that sympathetic look. that look that says, "ah, i understand why your eyes are glazed over and you look like you could drop at any minute." occasionally one will even come by (you see, by now they've all moved well away from where i'm sitting) and say, "wow, your son is a real firecracker, eh?" (read firecracker = insanely hyper to the point of abnormal and/or supernatural). i always smile, and keep most of my comments to myself, because i know that now, even though it's just a few of you, at least some of you people out there who thought you had a "busy" child now understand that you're actually blessed with a perfectly normal, healthy kid, while mine generates enough heat from his basic daily activities to keep Tibetans warm at night.
all of them. the entire country of Tibet. seriously.
so, why am i telling you this? is the point that i'm tired?
oh, not so fast... as tired as i am now, it only gets better.
you see, we've got another child on the way.
your reactions could go anywhere from "Yay! Congratulations!" to "well, who's fault is that?" i don't really care.
but as tired as i feel now, it will feel like a tropical all-expenses-paid vacation compared to the absolute physical exhaustion which awaits me in the near future.
that's right, the near future. as in the next week. maybe less...
::gulp::
again, don't get me wrong. i love my son, he's an absolute blast to be with, and i love being his father more than just about anything. i can't wait to meet the new child who will come screaming into my life any day now to take over that which has only begun to settle down since the first one arrived.
but i've begun to stockpile coffee. lots and lots of coffee.
who isn't, right? but i'm really rather worn down. i thought once i finished my bachelor's degree, things would ease up a bit. as it turns out, i was wrong. again. meh, i'm getting used to it.
you see, i have a 2-year-old son. actually, it'd be more accurate to say that i have a lightning-ball-of-hyperactivity-who-looks-somewhat-like-me. he's amazing, i'm not even trying to complain, but keeping up with him is no easy task.
i know, i know... many of you are already saying, "but Grey, all 2-year-old boys are busy... suck it up."
yeah, you haven't met mine. my favorite thing to do these days is take him to somewhere where a few (not too many!) other parents are letting their kids play, like a playground, a park, or a prison yard, and unleash my boy on 'em. parents usually smile at me the first minute or two we're there, followed by a comment like, "oh! you're boy is a busy one too! ha ha!" then, after about 5 minutes, i start to get the looks. you know, the looks that basically say, "okay, what is your son on, exactly? is he dangerous?"
oh, you don't know that look? really? i get that all the time.
but the real fun starts around 10 minutes after my son has invaded the public play area. don't get me wrong, he's not a bully or a jerk to the other kids (although a little time at daycare has made him a bit less of a target for those kids who act that way), he just doesn't stop. ever.
EVER.
after about 10 minutes or so, parents start giving me that sympathetic look. that look that says, "ah, i understand why your eyes are glazed over and you look like you could drop at any minute." occasionally one will even come by (you see, by now they've all moved well away from where i'm sitting) and say, "wow, your son is a real firecracker, eh?" (read firecracker = insanely hyper to the point of abnormal and/or supernatural). i always smile, and keep most of my comments to myself, because i know that now, even though it's just a few of you, at least some of you people out there who thought you had a "busy" child now understand that you're actually blessed with a perfectly normal, healthy kid, while mine generates enough heat from his basic daily activities to keep Tibetans warm at night.
all of them. the entire country of Tibet. seriously.
so, why am i telling you this? is the point that i'm tired?
oh, not so fast... as tired as i am now, it only gets better.
you see, we've got another child on the way.
your reactions could go anywhere from "Yay! Congratulations!" to "well, who's fault is that?" i don't really care.
but as tired as i feel now, it will feel like a tropical all-expenses-paid vacation compared to the absolute physical exhaustion which awaits me in the near future.
that's right, the near future. as in the next week. maybe less...
::gulp::
again, don't get me wrong. i love my son, he's an absolute blast to be with, and i love being his father more than just about anything. i can't wait to meet the new child who will come screaming into my life any day now to take over that which has only begun to settle down since the first one arrived.
but i've begun to stockpile coffee. lots and lots of coffee.
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